this is all about latest interviewed to Bollywood Star Katrina Kaif by times of india., she dressed in a short black dress, cuddles up to myriad coloured cushions in her favourite corner in her home. As sunbeams light up her laptop, a script, cough medicine (she has this hacking cough and congestion) she is at her sunny best, smiling often as she gets introspective on love, lovers and relationships
• Are you single?
(Laughs) Laying no claim to being original I will repeat a statement that somebody came up with, which I believe in: You are single till you are married. I have seen a lot of relationships that are very transient. So till you take that vow, which in my belief should not be broken, you are single. I refuse to clarify anything, this is the way I have always been.
• Does this not amount to denying the person you are with?
That could have happened two or three years ago when the person I was with was far more successful than me. People could have misinterpreted my accepting or denying him then. I am not saying that I am right and somebody who talks openly about his/her relationship is wrong. Maybe if and when the time is right, I may say something. But perhaps the time is not right, right now.
• But then you face the risk of being linked to everyone you work with …
First of all, ouch and secondly, I am a soft target because I don’t comment. In any case I have only been linked to Ranbir recently and I can only say that Ranbir had said in many interviews that he is single and not dating anyone. And I say I am single and am not dating anyone.
We have worked together in two films and I do believe that he is a nice person. He has a wonderful quality which is to make everyone laugh and bring a lot of happiness and joy on the sets. He is very talented and beyond that there is nothing more to dig into. And there is nothing less than that also.
• How important is it to be loved?
A lot. All my life I have judged my worth by how much I have been loved by a man. It’s so with a lot of women, that their self-esteem is measured by how much they are loved by a man, their partner, their boyfriend or may be their husband. In my case, it may be because I grew up without my father. But now that I am more mature and not 18 anymore, I have slowly learnt to overcome that and to understand that I have my own destiny and life.
That doesn’t mean relationships or people hold less value for me. People in my life mean more to me than even my career. I definitely want to settle down, get married and want everything else that a woman wants. But now I don’t judge me and my confidence, my happiness, and my peace by how much I am loved.
There some wonderful examples of single mothers who are bringing up their children on their own. I think they are doing a brilliant job. But in my life, if I can help it at all, I would never like to bring up a child without the father. I think it’s important for the child’s complete emotional stability.
• When have you been completely happy?
Total happiness … umm … I am not sure but I don’t think I ever have. I don’t think anybody can experience total happiness because it is human nature to want more. My life has always been very tumultuous and changed course very fast and very drastically and always very wonderfully. A lot of people feel that I am God’s special child and that I am privileged and I hope that continues. Till I was 16, I had lived in 18 or 19 countries. I don’t know where my peace and my contentment is going to lie. In my heart, something very very strongly tells me, I will not leave Mumbai, this is my home.
• And your saddest moment?
Sad can only be in the sense of being alone. That is the only thing that affects everybody, the sense of being alone and the sense of being misunderstood. It hurts me physically when somebody misunderstands an intention. I am highly emotional and sensitive. I react to people on a whim. When someone looks at me in a defensive way, I will right away build up this bulletproof impenetrable wall and I will become this very difficult person to deal with.
And if you look at me in a way that l feel complete openness from you, I will become like a baby and you can make me do whatever you want. I think the key with me is not to use force. When people try to demonstrate authority with me, for whatever reasons, I have a problem. With me, you should never try to demonstrate that you have the power and I have to obey you. If people are pleasant and nice then I will go miles for them.
• How far would you go for your relationship?
Real love is not so easy to give up. I can go pretty far, can stick on through a lot of bad times and fight through a lot of things. There is nothing like if someone does this, if someone does that, it’s over. I don’t think there are any tentative versions of a relationship, not if you love somebody.
• Are you the type that celebrates everything about a relationship, first date, first kiss and stuff like that?
I am very un-girly that way. It’s probably out of habit or maybe now it’s become a habit. I don’t like candlelight dinners, you don’t need to bring me roses, I don’t like holding hands and doing romantic things.
• You have a happy space in your car and you always say your home is your happy space. But shouldn’t the real one be in somebody’s arms?
It should and it will and when it is I will tell you but not the specifics. But important as companionship is, it is also very important not to live in fear. Not to make decisions out of fear. At the end of the day, it’s a very simple world, career means a lot but love and companionship is going to be with me forever.